Trainer Talk is a Free Webinar for ICEEFT members.
As a frequent traveler, I have the opportunity of being in conversations with cab drivers fairly regularly. Today’s cabby spoke with pride about his large family (5 children) and his pleasure in his family and being able to provide for them. He spoke about feeling the true partnership with his wife and optimistic for his (more…)
Here are some words from Sue Johnson from the 2010 EFT Summit about what we do and don’t do as EFT therapists. It’s a wonderful review.
“EFT is kinda different. We don’t teach problem solving, we don’t sketch long family histories, we don’t coach people in skills interactions, we don’t really persuade people that there’s all kinds of reasons why they should change. What on earth is it that we focus on and care about and do in EFT then?”
“Tango is an intimate conversation, where all the non-verbal’s really count. And when it works it’s about this exquisite synchrony, it’s about coordination, openness, responsiveness, it’s sexy because sex is also about synchrony. About moving together. It moves us emotionally because we look at it and two people become one. Just as a mother and child seem to become one in play.
Alan Shore, the attachment theorist says, “Attachment is in essence the right brain regulation of the biological synchrony between organisms. This dance, let’s call it a “neuro- duet”. This is about resonance. Resonance is a term they use in physics when they talk about a sympathetic vibration between two elements that allows these two elements who were just being chaotic around each other to suddenly act in harmony. They become synchronous. They become able to almost read what the other element is gonna do and tune in and become a whole. These dancers can only do this when they feel safe together, safe, balanced, and connected. This is a beautiful dance. This is what I want to create when I do EFT.
I see us learning, getting better and better at creating this. We are trying to create this dance of love and attachment.”
If you’d like to hear Sue deliver this whole address, or any of the Summit 2010 recordings you can check them out here: Summit 2010 Session Video’s/.
It’s a wonderful time of celebration, a time of family, gifts and gratitude. I love the added awareness of thankfulness that’s in the air. I love the songs of joy. I love the focus and, even though it’s quite commercialized, that it’s a big enough and grand enough focus the whole world is aware of what and why we are celebrating.
I have learned so much this year about being, teaching, sharing and how to be a better wife, mother, business partner and team member.
I hope you are conscious of some of the things you’ve learned and how you’ve changed this year too.
Of course, one of the things most important in my life is improving my practice and teaching of Emotionally Focused Therapy. It’s a personal mission for me to help more therapists become better couple therapists so more homes can be filled with love, more families can stay together happily and especially so children have a chance to be raised in an intact family unit with loving and in-love parents.
Love changes the world and for me, there’s no better place for that change to begin than in our hearts, our homes.
Emotionally Focused Therapy, the Science of Love, offers a real method that works to restore love, heal hearts and provide couples enough experience at feeling their way back into safety and belonging with each other that their relationship becomes the natural place for them to go to for comfort, sharing and support.
On this Christmas Eve, I’m so grateful to be part of team working consciously to bring more love to the world, and I’m glad you’re part of it too. It’s wonderful to be in this healing profession.
Now off for some cheer.
