February 7, 2012 Becca
Portfolio
Imagine showing up for a workshop and the co-facilitator had a substitute. Yep, that was me, the substitute. You know, once you’re out of grade school substitutes aren’t really considered a good thing. For example, we groan when we go to the opera and the understudy is on. If someone gets hurt on the ball field, the sub goes in. If you can’t have what you really want, there’s a substitute. And you’re face might look like this.
Well, Friday I was the sub. And I was worried about being on the other end of those unhappy faces.
You can imagine my surprise when instead of groans and disappointed faces, the “crowd” was welcoming, encouraging and even helpful. It felt like I had a whole community of support behind me – and I did. What a treat. Even the folks who were disappointed were kind.
I think Friday, in keeping with the workshop’s theme, we found a clearing in the woods, a safe space to be connected and pull together.
I’m reminded again of how proud I am to be part of this movement, to teach and learn this powerful method, to help couples and families be strong and happy together. 
All I can say is this EFT community is amazing. I think the nicest people in the world become Emotionally Focused Therapists.
Thank you EFTers.
January 16, 2012 Becca
Portfolio
This weekend, at a Hold Me Tight weekend workshop I was reminded of the power of using somatic response to access the primary emotions and unmet need.
One participant described his heart being clamped down as he got in touch with the terror of facing his partner’s anger. Another turned his head and looked away, noting his childhood experience of being told over and over not to “look back.” As he brought that memory forward he realized how much he had been turning away from, including his wife. (more…)
As a frequent traveler, I have the opportunity of being in conversations with cab drivers fairly regularly. Today’s cabby spoke with pride about his large family (5 children) and his pleasure in his family and being able to provide for them. He spoke about feeling the true partnership with his wife and optimistic for his (more…)
Here are some words from Sue Johnson from the 2010 EFT Summit about what we do and don’t do as EFT therapists. It’s a wonderful review.
“EFT is kinda different. We don’t teach problem solving, we don’t sketch long family histories, we don’t coach people in skills interactions, we don’t really persuade people that there’s all kinds of reasons why they should change. What on earth is it that we focus on and care about and do in EFT then?”
“Tango is an intimate conversation, where all the non-verbal’s really count. And when it works it’s about this exquisite synchrony, it’s about coordination, openness, responsiveness, it’s sexy because sex is also about synchrony. About moving together. It moves us emotionally because we look at it and two people become one. Just as a mother and child seem to become one in play.
Alan Shore, the attachment theorist says, “Attachment is in essence the right brain regulation of the biological synchrony between organisms. This dance, let’s call it a “neuro- duet”. This is about resonance. Resonance is a term they use in physics when they talk about a sympathetic vibration between two elements that allows these two elements who were just being chaotic around each other to suddenly act in harmony. They become synchronous. They become able to almost read what the other element is gonna do and tune in and become a whole. These dancers can only do this when they feel safe together, safe, balanced, and connected. This is a beautiful dance. This is what I want to create when I do EFT.
I see us learning, getting better and better at creating this. We are trying to create this dance of love and attachment.”
If you’d like to hear Sue deliver this whole address, or any of the Summit 2010 recordings you can check them out here: Summit 2010 Session Video’s/.
